EXCERPT HOUNDED A LOVE STORY

EXCERPT FROM HOUNDED: A LOVE STORY - HOW ROMANTIC

Felix motors into his bedroom, where he wriggles into a fresh set of sweats, and laces up a pair of virgin, vintage Air Jordans. In the bathroom, he throws open the medicine cabinet and grabs a bottle of cologne he hasn’t used since he got it as a secret Santa gift over a decade ago. He sprays a little on his face, and under his arms, closes the cabinet, and comes face-to-face with himself in the mirror. Felix doesn’t look at himself much, and he’s not crazy about what he sees now - a slightly more civilized version of the Unabomber. He glances at his watch, takes a scissors, and starts to trim his beard. Since he’s never done this before, he can’t co-ordinate his cutting with what he sees in the mirror and tosses the scissors aside. Felix inspects his reflection again. He removes his hat, checks himself out, puts the hat back on, takes it off, and rakes his fingers through his tangled mane. Deciding on hatless, he forces a smile onto his face with his fingers.

Felix fumbles through his CDs, but his hands aren’t too steady, so he activates the last music he listened to, a 50s jazz vocal group.

Darth the dog asks, “Will she be sitting on the couch?”

“I would think so.”

Darth nods in the direction of the couch. Felix punches the couch, and sure enough, a cloud of dust arises. He grabs up his soiled hoodie and starts swatting at the couch. More clouds. More swatting.

“It’s much easier when all you have to do is sniff their butt,” muses Darth.

“What can I say, humans are an inferior species,” responds Felix.

Then, a knock at the door. Felix stands in the middle of the room, paralyzed.

“She can’t come in if you don’t open the door,” offers Darth. Felix tosses the dirty hoodie in a closet, makes his way to the front door, opens the window in the door, and beholds his first actual guest since the George W. Bush administration.

“You’re early!” exclaims Felix.

“It’s three minutes after seven,” counters Yuki.

Felix checks his watch, “Sorry, come on in.” Felix opens the door revealing Yuki, laden with gifts, and arresting in a blue and white striped skirt with a white v-neck tee-shirt and navy loafers. “You look great,” splutters Felix.

“No hat!” exclaims Yuki. “A definite improvement.” She steps inside the house, and notices the music, “Lambert, Hendricks and Ross! I love them!”

Surprised she knows a group from so long ago, Felix blurts, “How old are you?”

“You really don’t talk to women much, do you?”

Darth rushes over and jumps up on Yuki. “Hello, Darth! How’s my handsome boy.”

“Darth!” cautions Felix.

“It’s okay, he’s just being an attentive host,” says Yuki.

Felix eyes the objects in Yuki’s arms, “You didn’t have to bring anything.”

She holds up a hand-painted bowl, “Raspberry sorbet. Made it myself. You should put it in the freezer, for now.” Yuki hands Felix the bowl.

“And for the king of the castle.” She hands Darth what looks to be a very long piece of jerky. Darth happily snaps it out of her hand.

“What is that thing?” asks Felix.

“Actually, it’s a bull’s penis. Dogs love ‘em.”

“How romantic,” says Felix.

Jeffrey Pohn Author

jeffpohn@gmail.com

Based in Los Angeles, CA

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